The Actual Reason
by Ikathy
Summary: Why Elfman can't call her Ever. Oneshot.
**The Actual Reason Why Elfman Can't Call Her Ever**

or

 **A Plot Twist**

In Evergreen's opinion, a true queen should maintain her composure at all times, no matter the situation. And by maintain the composure, she meant keeping a solemn, mysterious aura around one's self and avoiding undesirable behaviors, such as showing too much annoying emotions, like excitement. When Laxus was not around — because he was the exception to the rule, of course —, there were rare occasions when she allowed herself to smile or demonstrate interest.

She had always been a naturally cold and insensitive person, with no close family or friends to cherish, so it wasn't hard to preserve an unalterable expression. However, just to be sure she wouldn't slip, Evergreen kept a special exercise called The Perfect Queen Countenance: during the mornings, she would stand in front of a mirror and think about the most salacious things a human being could ever imagine, focusing on maintaining her expression immaculately neutral, just as she had been turned into one of her statues. It worked like a charm.

Her rigorous training paid off and, for years, Evergreen ruled her private little fairy world without letting her interior peace be disturbed by _anyone_ … until the day Elfman showed up in her life and ruined everything.

At first, she had seen him as an opportunity to get revenge for not being the one chosen by Freed to team up for the S-class exams, and hadn't been surprised to find out that Elfman was as irritating as any other useless fellow guild members. However, something about him in particular, his posture, his voice intonation or the way he passed instructions to her at Tenrou Island, she couldn't tell which one exactly, was just getting on her freaking nerves more than she could have expected.

She had managed to keep calm for a while by taking a deep breath several times, although at a given moment, while they were being chased by that stupid giant chicken thing, a peculiar thought occurred to her. It was just an innocent automatic thing, but enough to make her give up her inflexible stance.

For a millisecond, it came to her that Elfman looked very sexy being bossy.

And against the absurdity, the calumny, the damn _disparate_ that was that idea — because no way, _no_ , _damn_ , _way_ it could be considered a valid, rational thought —, Evergreen finally burst, abandoning all her arduous training to become a dignified queen, and let out the loudest shout she had ever given in all her life.

"STOP GIVING ME ORDERS!"

As it still wasn't enough to appease her inner anger, the thought was so unsettling that she couldn't regain her collected composure for the rest of the exam.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

"STOP BOSSING ME!"

"IF YOU SAY ONE MORE THING, _ANYTHING_ , I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND FEED YOU TO THE PIGS!"

After Grimoire Heart's invasion and their awakening from the lethargy state they have been stuck in for seven years, Evergreen reassessed her behavior during the S-class exams and concluded that she needed to build a whole new set of antibodies designed specifically to stand against Elfman's presence.

The following three months in which she left along with Laxus and the Raijinshu in order to train for the Grand Magic Games were convenient, as she was able to think calmly about her attitude. In the meantime, she adapted her morning exercise by changing the usual voluptuous thoughts for the mental image of Elfman shouting orders at her. On her first trials, a vein insisted on pulsing on her forehead, but as days were passing by, she eventually managed to become the unshakeable Queen from before. He could tell her to undress herself or even worse that she still would remain steadfast.

So it was with a victorious pose that Evergreen came back from her training, more than ready to face any obstacle that dared to get in her way… until Elfman did something that she thought impossible.

She made her blush. _Blush_.

And what angered her most was the _way_ he made her blush:

"It's a great day to be a man huh, _Ever_?" as simple as that.

Many were the times in which she found herself in front of his ward bed after his fight against Bacchus, watching him in search for answers. She couldn't comprehend how a simple word — an easily inferable nickname, to be specific —from that lunatic's mouth had the power to get her so taken aback.

It didn't matter the number of times she scolded him for calling her 'Ever'; every damn time he did, it made her face redder than an apple. When standing in front of the mirror and recollecting his manly voice calling her so affectionately, she couldn't restrain the various shades of red that spread on her face. She tried again and again, all in vain.

For the first time in her life, Evergreen couldn't maintain her composure in front of someone. And the reason why was because she was probably – _eek_! – in love.

With Elfman Strauss. A big, stupid _brute_ who could only grunt the word 'man'.

After that terrible discovery and her most eminent failure in controlling the situation, she decided that dealing with him with neutrality was simply useless, not to say heavily _tiresome_ , so she would abandon her composure completely when he was around and, from that moment on, she would dedicate all of her time to make his life a living _hell_.

She would yell, kick, pinch and throw insults every time Elfman called her Ever. She would make a scandal worthy of Fairy Tail, but she would never, _ever_ , admit that she felt something for him.

All said and done. The Grand Magic Games were over and the days went by. She obviously kept her sense of superiority most of the time – she was still a queen after all –, however, interacting with Elfman gave her the opportunity to know the other guild members better and, little by little, she stopped thinking about them as (very) annoying people. She even stablished a friendship with the girls that lived in Fairy Hills, dropping a few words in their little get-togethers and giving makeup tips to the youngest ones when they wanted to go out.

She barely noticed, a few months later, when she stopped internalizing her emotions in front of a mirror, as she came to accept that not everything was — and needed to be — under her control. No, Evergreen didn't notice it because she was too busy being happy.

And honestly, she could live the rest of her life that way, by leaps and bounds, shouting, name-calling and pretending – and pretending very badly – that she didn't love Elfman. She was certain she could keep doing all of that, as long as he stayed by her side… until he kissed her.

But that time, Evergreen didn't try to contain her feelings or got mad at him. She just let herself get carried away.

* * *

 **N/A:** Other ElfEver shortfics can also be found at my "Songs About Fairies" collection (chapters 3, 6 and 8).


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